You're Driving Me Mad

The good news first. Driving does seem to have become less hazardous than it was in Majorca until only very recently. The introduction of a licence points system, speed radars (a few anyway) and modifications to roads (often to include bumps or islands) has led to a sense, any maybe only a sense, that the roads are less manic than they were. The less good news is that the Balearics still manage to register the worst road-accident statistics in Spain.

The points system, which covers a variety of driving sins - drink. mobiles, recklessness, tail-gating and more - has had some effect. A now former club owner told me the other day that one of the reasons for his now being an ex-club owner was the new toughness on drink driving. Fewer people were coming to his club, because fewer were prepared to take the risk. But drink driving still continues of course. And there are still the real crazies out on the road who don't need the stimulus of alcohol to drive as though they were on the circuit at Monza.

Everyone here has his or her lunatic driving stories to relate; they are legion and as much a part of Majorcan life as the fiesta or the beach. When they talk about Majorcan culture, they should make sure that anyone wishing to sample it spends a day or two driving. It's an experience and more likely to get the heart pulsing than watching some traditional dancing or a procession of solemn clergy.

One wonders quite what driving instruction entails in Majorca. Perhaps the single most unnerving aspect for a British driver is what the heck to make of roundabouts. It should be borne in mind that, up until not that long ago, apart from a couple of roundabouts in Palma, there weren't any others. Now of course they are all over the place, partly as a means of slowing traffic. But negotiating a roundabout is fraught as no one seems to have a clear idea as to lane discipline or indicating. The former is flexible, the latter optional or usually non-existent. When it does occur, it often means the opposite of what you think it means. This is one reason why roundabouts are sometimes successful at slowing traffic. Everyone is trying to figure out what the other guy's doing, so you get a stand-off or car-off if you prefer, except in the case of the crazy behind who, in his impatience, drives up on the pavement in order to get past this temporary road block.

For the uninitiated, come to Majorca and make sure you know exactly what the other guy is doing, because you can be pretty sure your first impression will be wrong. And the other main bit of advice with roundabouts is to take them slowly as, very sensibly, most come with pedestrian crossings right by the exits. Go too fast and you're straight into the back of the guy who is letting some people cross, and letting people cross (which used never to happen unless the driver was not Majorcan) has started to creep in because some roundabouts also come with lights that are easily neglected. One is concentrating that much on what the nutter in front or to the side is up to, one doesn't see the lights on red until too late.

Recently there was an initiative, aimed at commercial drivers such as taxi drivers, to demonstrate that a "northern" style of driving (northern as in northern European) was beneficial in terms of petrol consumption, the point being that the typical Majorcan behind-the-wheeler is aggressive while a British counterpart, for instance, is less so and treats the car more smoothly. The message could just as well be made to the whole driving population here. Less petrol, less money and, while you're at it, fewer accidents - perhaps.

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